The condom catastrophe!!!

When I was eighteen, I was dating girls (to mom's zero knowledge, obviously!), and quite "naturally", ending up on the bed, with a few, as well!!!







Now, I had weird places of "hiding" the condoms!!!





Because, that was the only way I could keep my mom's hands, off them!!!






I was an avid painter back then, and I had an entire folder, stacked with copies, and sheets of sketches. I had slid the pack of "protection" amidst the "sketchy" crowd, and left for my tuitions!









As I returned,. mom gave me a pale look, full of shock, shame and surprise!!! Expressive eyes!!!




It was like, somebody had just told her that I was the mastermind behind the Mumbai blasts, and the assassination of Gandhi!!!




Naturally enough, I was quite much used by now, to such "lethally blank" expressions!!!








Minutes later, I knew, what was missing!!!






To be continued.....

Of sins and wrongs!!!

I lost my "virginity" at sixteen!!!






To another "virgin" of seventeen!!!







We could be well jailed, for under age sex!!!







But, such things were never spoken of, beyond the four walls!!! It was a "sin" to do so!







And, I had more than "sinned"!!!










I did the wrong things at the wrong age!




At least my mom said so!!!




Though, she hardly had an "actual" idea of her son's "wrongs"!!!






But, moms are somehow very "uncomfortably" aware of the "dark" secrets of your life! At least, to some "good" extent!!!





And, for me, "disaster" struck bad.





Real bad!!!









My mom somehow, always chanced upon the "wrong" things, at the "wrong" time!!!




It was very complementary!!!





Like, she felt, I had a bad timing for everything, and I felt the same, too!!!




Just, the other way round!!!





To be continued.....

The Khajuraho hypothesis!!!

When I was twelve, I visited Khajuraho.




I was a "bonus" addition to dad's "scientific" team, on a trip of Madhya Pradesh. We took some time, off science and research, and decided to admire art, in religion!!







The temples of Khajuraho are exceptional works of Nagara-style architectural symbolism, and the erotic sculptures are definitely, a class apart!





Now, going through the history of Khajuraho, I realised, the temples were built between 950 and 1050 A.D. Also, according to records, about 10% of the entire architecture, exhibits eroticism!!!




Some James McConnachie had also mentioned the Khajuraho sculptures as "the apogee of erotic art"!!!







Definitely, at twelve, I hardly knew so much about Khajuraho!



But, something definitely struck me!





Eroticism had been an integral part of Indian culture, for ages!!! And, that meant, it was not really a "wrong" thing!!!





But, at twelve, you have a number of other passing thoughts, as well!!!






To be continued.....

The "get well" episode!!!

I had realised quite early in my life, that, I was quite "sexual"!


And, I was more than comfortable with the fact!!!




It was a normal thing, a universal truth!!!




At least, the history of time said so!!!







Quite expectedly, I got back to office life, and to some extent, remained "distracted" from the "accident"!!!




Just that, I stopped writing blogs, for the time being! Because, I didn't want any "unpleasant" effect or influence, on my writings!!!





Writers can't be biased, after all!!!




To be continued.....

The nailed manhood!!!

By the time I was fourteen, I was actually, deeply engrossed in things, my mom called "vulgar", and "obscene"!!!







I had watched porn, and chanced upon a couple of semi-naked girls (purely, by chance, though!), and I had realised the "meaning" of "manhood"!!!









I had literally, thoroughly read, books on gynaecology, that had been stacked, to the depths of our book shelf, and required real "digging"!!!





They originally belonged to one of my distant cousins! I had no freaking idea, about how they ended up in our book shelf, but, neither was that required!!!






I was sure, the book had found the "perfect hands"!!! And though, I couldn't fathom most of it, I actually ended up, knowing more than most, of my age!!!







There wasn't a call again, or even a text, from her!!!



I realised, break ups happen over coffees and kisses.




If it's over sex, it simply means, you are nailed!!!





To be continued.....

Of "balloons" and "women"!!!

Being the youngest of a family, is usually, anything but a positive!!!





I was always, "too small", for any and nearly every goddamn thing!!!







When I was barely six or seven, one afternoon, I discovered something interesting, below the bed linen!!!





I called it, "sticky balloon"!!!



They call it "condom"!!!







Expectedly, my luck wasn't "good enough".



I woke up the next morning, to Sauban's screams!!!






I just wished, he would get himself a girlfriend, and get over, his "wildly" blooming obsession of bikes!!!





Sauban, besides being a college friend, was also my room mate. He was an interface designer, and I, I was a writer!!!





"You'll also die on a boat, with someone else's wife!! The next Shelley!!!" Sauban would laugh off my habitual involvement in complicated relationships!!!




Only if he could understand.




I didn't have much to contribute to a woman's infidelity!!!





To be continued.....

From hangovers to hangovers!!!

My parents weren't quite aware of my "antisocial" thoughts, and ideas!! The "aftermath" would have been an "expected" one!!! They would have well killed themselves, or me, whichever would be "easier" and more "feasible" an option!!!

"Dude! Chill!! Don't act so upset!!! You aren't dying a virgin, anyways!!!" Sauban tried to ease out things.

"It's not the break up!! It's just that, don't girls crave for sex, like we do? I mean, what was I supposed to do? Sleep her off, to lullabies???"

I, still hadn't got over, last night!! 

"Nightmares" took time to fade!!!

We, expectedly hit a pub!

Alcohol is the best answer!! Because, you are never the same, once you are "on" it!! Half the times, you land up forgetting the question! Not because alcohol is a great "healer"! But, it can give you "worse" hangovers!!!

And, if and only if, you were good enough with your "luck", you could just chance upon a "take me home" lady!!!

Alcohol can sometimes, work wonders!!!

Sometimes, though!!!

To be continued.....

Of "gifts" and "desires"!!!

Born at a point of time, when intercourses were "symbolised" by pollinating flowers, blown-off candles, and blank, black screens, I was "expected" to be "traditional" and "well cultured"!!!

I chose to be a "pervert"!!!

Like every other child, I grew up, believing, we were "gifts of God"!!!

It was certainly, like, God "gifted" married couples, kids, in singles, doubles, triads, or even more. Depending on their "desires"!!!

By the time I was twelve, I actually realised, it was nothing of "gifts", but, rather, "hormones" and "fluids"!!!

And, it was just the beginning!

Of exploring the "undesired depths" of an "uncomfortable" truth!!!

To be continued.....

The follow through!!!

The problem, for me, was not the breakup!!!




But, it was rather the fact, that you'd be a pervert, if you tried making love to your girlfriend, (and not for the first time!! So, shyness wasn't even a question!) even if she dropped in, at the middle of the night, and there wasn't a third person around!!!





What were you supposed to do???





Play Xbox and slaughter popcorns???






Seriously. Is that, what I was supposed to do???






I wasn't even in a state of finding an answer!!!




She had slammed the door, but, it was my boner, that was "actually" hurt!!!








I had to "calm" myself, with the internet, for the night!!!





To be continued.....

A breakup to wake to!!!

"So??? This was all you wanted!!! Isn't it Sagar??? You filthy pig, nasty rat, bloody pervert!!!"





She left instantly, slamming the door, hard enough to knock down a nail or two!!!







It was over...!!!









A breakup over sex!!!





To be continued...